Feeling Old

I’m having one of those days. They’re rare but they sometimes rear their ugly head.

And I’m feeling guilty about it because we’re in one of the most beautiful places in the world.

Normally, I can suck it up and not think about my pain level.

This is mostly due to the fact that I am happy. Generally, I am happy and grateful most days.

Another reason I don’t think about my aches and pains so much is because we renovated our house back in Canada so that I can maneuver around without help now. We took out stairs by putting in that breezeway so now I can get into our house with ease. I even have a new chair that can lift me up so that I can virtually just stand up without pain. Our home is well equipped for me to live there for a long long time.

It’s been three years since we last journeyed to this beautiful island. And much has changed. Well, not so much with the island, but with ME.

Ever since my foot/leg operation I haven’t needed to walk with a cane. What a blessing!

But here I need a cane to get up the stairs to the elevator to our VRBO.

I can no longer sit on any chair without arms or the chaise lounge by the pool because I can’t get up by myself from that low an angle. I tried to get out of the pool but I couldn’t make the last step up because it was higher than the others and it hurt too much…same with the hottub. So I feel trapped on or in these things unless someone is there to help me. It is humbling.

Ridiculous first world problems. I know.

I feel frustrated because my husband has to do SO much for me now. Like when he has to pull me up from the dinner table chair here and/or carry more things when we are out and about because of my need for the cane and using the railings. He never complains though. I’m just needing to gripe a bit.

So, yes, I’m feeling sorry for myself.

I bet we’ll probably all relate to unwanted changes as we get older. For example older folks might not feel comfortable driving at night anymore so they’re losing that freedom. People who are suddenly living alone might often feel lonely. Folks who find they now need wheelchairs or caregivers most likely will feel upset/frustrated, and on and on. I know.

So today I was ‘having a moment’ and just feeling so old when I came across this image created by the photographer Jonas Peterson.
It is not a photograph, not a real person, and not even real clothing. He uses A.I. to create his visions of “youth being wasted on the young”.

And you know what? It made me smile.

I don’t know why one photo could turn my whole day around but ….it did!

I’m going to try and head into tomorrow with more of an attitude of lightness and fun. I might be getting older but there is so much more to life than my aches and pains. I’m going to try and laugh about it . I’m going to remember that there are SO many people WAY worse off than myself. And I’m going to allow my gratefulness for all the blessings I DO have to shine through.

Here is the lady I saw…..

I love her.

And I am grateful for this “old” body that I have. It can still do so much!

(Your soul is like a ship, and the storms of this world can buffet and blow you around. But amidst the waves and chaos, Christ can be your anchor to keep you steady.)