Healthy Relationships
I read this list that someone posted recently and most of it resonated with me.
We have tried never to go to bed angry which sometimes resulted in conversations deep into the night until we could apologize and feel at peace with each other. With divorce rates high (perhaps even higher due to the pandemic) I was thinking it might be a good reminder list to pass on.
Spread love not war!
Important things to remember when you are married or in a serious relationship:
Don’t ever assume your partner feels loved.
Date nights are a must. (We now go on date ‘days’ ….matinees have less people in them!)
Doesn’t matter if you go out, or stay in.
Talking openly about what you want to change in your relationship is important.
Learn each other’s love language. ( Read the book , “The Five Love Languages”, it’s excellent!)
We all don’t perceive love the same way.
Go to bed mad sometimes. Don’t force a resolution. Sleeping on it does help. ( And I would add praying about it. Things often look much better and clearer in the morning.)
When you get into a fight, don’t just say “I’m sorry”. Say what you are sorry for, and how you will react differently next time.
It will get boring sometimes. Every couple goes through the “boring” stage. It’s normal. It will fade. ( And if you work on your relationship, you can bring lots of life and love and joy back into it. AND FUN!)
This is the time in your relationship you will have to put the most effort in.
Some days you will have to pull more weight than your partner, and vice versa.
It’s important to check in on each other’s mental health.
It’s okay to go to couples counselling. It helps. It doesn’t mean you two are ending, or failing. ( I’ve known couples who have fallen in love with each other again this way.)
Talk about money. Talk about your financial goals. Let your partner know what you expect from them, and vice versa.
Turn off the phones an hour before bedtime and just talk to each other. ( I don’t even bring my phone downstairs at night. I just want to be with my husband …not the world news or anything worrisome or distracting.)
Ask questions like….
“What do you need to see more of from me?”
“How can we understand each other better?”
And most importantly, be kind to each other.
Love each other.
Fight for each other.
Remember, love is never easy, and it’s one hell of a ride.
But damn, is it ever beautiful, and worth it. ( I would say that we are trying to get each other to Heaven!)
Terry wrote a book about marriage called, “ Ordinary Guy/Extraordinary Marriage “. Although he’s no ‘ordinary guy’ by any means we have given this book to many couples for wedding gifts or at conferences. Check it out! It might change your life for the better!
