A Happy 40th !
I’ve heard a lot of the younger generation say that they were afraid to commit to marriage and would rather ‘just live together’. “So many marriages don’t survive”, they say.
But we have become a ‘throw away’ generation. If it’s not working …just throw it away.
Marriage takes work, not gonna lie. I would personally call it fun work but it does take effort on both parts to keep it strong.
In fact my guy, Terry, wrote a book called “Ordinary Guy-Extraordinary Marriage” and in that book he says, “Love is a verb.” We must act with love, make every effort to love, and be willing to receive love in return.
I think in our case we both have the same mandate: to make each other happy.
It’s not…. “He doesn’t give me…. “ or “She doesn’t do this for me…” , etc. , but “What can I do for my partner today?”
And when both people are trying daily to be the ‘best versions of themselves’ that’s very attractive!
My parents have been married for 65 years this July 6th. That’s setting a very good example of what can work in a marriage. To this day they enjoy each other’s company, they pray together, and play together! They went through tough times as we all do but they found their rhythm and I just love being near them. They raised us 4 girls and 1 boy in a home filled with love, music, art, and much laughter too.
And of course I know that not all marriages are healthy and it’s actually MUCH better to be apart than together in these cases. I think I’m blessed to know many many couples amidst my family and friends that have been happily together for years and years.
I met Terry when we both auditioned for The Windsor Light Opera. The play was “Finian’s Rainbow”.
Apparently it was ‘love at first sight’ for him and it was definitely ‘like at first sight’ for me…ha ha.
I was dating another boy at the time but one day when Terry and I were rehearsing upstairs in the W.L.O. building (Thanksgiving Weekend) , the Director (and the whole cast!!!) forgot we were up there and they all went home. We were LOCKED IN! FOR THE LONG WEEKEND!
Luckily, we saw from our window, John Watson, the director, just about to get into his car. We were able to get his attention and he came back in and let us out.
We had such an enjoyable chat all the way home and then in my parents’ driveway as well. At the end of that evening Terry casually mentioned that he was given 2 tickets to the Joffrey Ballet and might I like to go with him? Being that I was a dancer and the fact that I loved ballet, AND the tickets were free….how could I refuse?
After only this one date, I broke up with my boyfriend and ….well… the rest is history as they say.
Funnily enough, it was only a few years ago that I found out that Terry purchased those tickets for me. He made me believe that someone just gave him the tickets too but he said he was too shy to let me know the truth incase I said, “No”.
Four children, quite a few surgeries for me, (7 years in a wheelchair), 6 grandsons, 20 years- he working in different cities, 2 cross Canada music tours, many artistic creations, much travel, 10 house moves, a worldwide pandemic, and many tears…(both sad and happy) later, we are thrilled to be very happily married and each other’s best friend.
Our semi-retirement has been a blessing so far and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.
Happy 40th, (tomorrow) ,my Love.
