Torn
Sometimes I feel torn.
I want to do all the things I want to do but I know they are going to hurt my body.
But I also know that sitting in a chair for hours or lying in a bed all day is not going to help me get any healthier. Our bodies need to move!
Many people my age are getting hips and knees replaced. I’ve had my hips done and have had arthritis since my first operation when I was a child. I think I’ve done pretty well! I’ve been an actress and a dancer and have hiked up to the top of a mountain! I’ve raised four children and found other ways to be creative when certain body parts stopped working.
I am SO happy that I found painting and playing guitar as joyful outlets when I couldn’t walk for years.
But recently I discovered that the reason I couldn’t lift my arms up (due to severe pain) is that my shoulders are torn!
There are a few places in each shoulder that are torn and I had the blessing of receiving cortisone injections that seem to be working! It wasn’t the best experience for me at the diagnostic centre where I got my x-rays and ultrasounds (no one would help me get up from the rolling chair for one thing!) but the staff at the Unity Square and Meadowlark locations for the injections were great.
Playing the guitar still hurts ….which is SUCH a bummer…and my doctor said I have to give up the pool for now because the water resistance exercises most likely caused the tears as well as constantly having to use my arms to get up from the sitting position. I am so torn about not doing both of these things that I love.
I am so happy that I have been able to use my arms to paint! I need to be carefully creative! My soul is filled up and my pain is less when I am thinking about creating instead of pain.
Here are a couple of my recent works…..all acrylic on canvas….
….. and just a gentle reminder….all my work is for sale with 80 % going to charity.
