Healer Of My Soul

Last night I couldn’t sleep.

The velvety black that tripped me up when I went to bed now seems lit by a spooky glow when I open my eyes.

I’m tired but I can’t settle down. The darkness sits on my stomach seemingly adding to the weight of the blankets. It is heavy and I can barely move.

My thoughts are not troubled. The only anxiety I feel is about being awake when I want to sleep.

Is it pain that keeps me alert?

I close my eyes and think of the day ; the joys, the disappointments, the things I wish I had improved upon.

I count my blessings instead of sheep. But I’m still awake.

The sound of waves caressing the beach does not work this night but it does help with my tinnitus.

My husband hasn’t moved an inch since he slid under the covers. I check to see that he’s still breathing. Check.

It’s time to connect with the Healer of my soul.

So much to be thankful for and I smile as I think of the many gifts in my life; my family, my friends, my home, and so much more.

The fan overhead cools my shoulders and I gratefully tuck under the covers while I try to adopt a comfortable position.

I will myself to stop looking at the clock.

Planning for tomorrow is waking me up more. Not a good idea.

Healer, please send your spirit to put my soul at rest.

Whisper words of comfort, hold me in the palm of your hand, heal the restlessness in me.

Last night I couldn’t sleep.

But today is a new day.

And it’s beautiful.